An Overview of the Risks and Protectors for Children of Separation and Divorce
Family Disagreements
I live with:
- both my mom and my dad
- only one of my parents
- another relative (e.g., grand-mother, aunt)
In every family there are times when the parents don't get along. When their parents argue or disagree, kids can feel a lot of different ways. We would like to know what kind of feelings you have when your parents have arguments or disagreements.
If your parents don't live together in the same house with you, think about times that they are together when they don't agree or about times when both of your parents lived in the same house, when you answer these questions.
- T = True
- ST = Sort of True
- F = False
- Frequency
- 1. I never see my parents arguing or disagreeing
- 10. They may not think I know it, but my parents argue or disagree a lot
- 16. My parents are often mean to each other even when I'm around
- 20. I often see my parents arguing
- 29. My parents hardly ever argue
- 37. My parents often nag and complain about each other around the house
- Intensity
- 5. My parents get really mad when they argue
- 14. When my parents have a disagreement they discuss it quietly
- 24. When my parents have an argument they say mean things to each other
- 33. When my parents have an argument they yell a lot
- 38. My parents hardly ever yell when they have a disagreement
- 40. My parents have broken or thrown things during an argument
- 45. My parents have pushed or shoved each other during an argument
- Resolution
- 2. When my parents have an argument they usually work it out
- 11. Even after my parents stop arguing they stay mad at each other
- 21. When my parents disagree about something, they usually come up with a solution
- 30. When my parents argue they usually make up right away
- 41. After my parents stop arguing, they are friendly toward each other
- 48. My parents still act mean after they have had an argument
- Content
- 3. My parents often get into arguments about things I do at school
- 22. My parents' arguments are usually about something I did
- 31. My parents usually argue or disagree because of things that I do
- 39. My parents often get into arguments when I do something wrong
- Perceived Threat
- 7. I get scared when my parents argue
- 17. When my parents argue I worry about what will happen to me
- 26. When my parents argue I'm afraid that something bad will happen
- 35. When my parents argue I worry that one of them will get hurt
- 42. When my parents argue I'm afraid that they will yell at me too
- 47. When my parents argue I worry that they might get divorced
- Coping Efficacy
- 6. When my parents argue I can do something to make myself feel better
- 15. I don't know what to do when my parents have arguments
- 25. When my parents argue or disagree I can usually help make things better
- 34. When my parents argue there's nothing I can do to stop them
- 46. When my parents argue or disagree there's nothing I can do to make myself feel better
- 51. When my parents argue they don't listen to anything I say
- Self-Blame
- 9. I'm not to blame when my parents have arguments
- 19. It's usually my fault when my parents argue
- 28. Even if they don't say it, I know I'm to blame when my parents argue
- 43. My parents blame me when they have arguments
- 50. Usually it's not my fault when my parents have arguments
- Triangulation
- 8. I feel caught in the middle when my parents argue
- 18. I don't feel like I have to take sides when my parents have a disagreement
- 27. My mom wants me to be on her side when she and my dad argue
- 36. I feel like I have to take sides when my parents have a disagreement
- 44. My dad wants me to be on his side when he and my mom argue
- Stability
- 13. My parents have arguments because they are not happy together
- 23. The reasons my parents argue never change
- 32. My parents argue because they don't really love each other
- 49. My parents have arguments because they don't know how go get along
