What happens next? Information for kids about separation and divorce

Chapter Seven: When one parent moves far away

Olivier’s big move?

Jordan and his mom Kristy on the plane

Olivier had just started to get used to his parents’ divorce. When his dad Louis first moved out, it seemed like a big deal. But Olivier eventually adjusted to going back and forth between his two homes. His mom and dad lived about a ten minute walk away from each other, so it wasn’t too hard to switch homes every Sunday. At his mom’s, he had his dog, Digger. At his dad’s, he had his cat, Mittens. Things were ok.

Then Olivier’s mom Marie was offered an amazing job in San Francisco. At first, Olivier was thrilled when he heard about it. He’d always wanted to go to San Francisco! Then he realized he couldn’t go back and forth between Hamilton and San Francisco every week. What would he do? Olivier didn’t want to leave Mittens, all his friends, and most of all his dad. But if he didn’t go he would miss his mom, not to mention the chance to live near the ocean.

Louis wanted Olivier to stay in Hamilton. He would miss Olivier, and Olivier was at a good school and had great friends. Marie said there was a really good school in San Francisco, where Olivier could learn Spanish. Plus, they’d be closer to Olivier’s grandma and grandpa, who lived close to San Francisco.

Olivier had never seen his parents disagree so much about anything before. Neither one wanted to budge. Olivier didn’t even know what he wanted anymore.

After a lot of meetings with lawyers and with a mediator, Louis and Marie finally agreed to a schedule. Olivier would move to San Francisco in September, but would come back to Hamilton for Christmas holidays and every summer. Louis would visit San Francisco every spring break. Olivier would miss his dad a lot, but they would Face Time every day. And Digger would come to San Francisco, too!

Sometimes it doesn’t work out quite as well as it did for Olivier and his parents. Big moves can be tough, for kids and for parents. If one of your parents wants you to move far away, your other parent may worry about not seeing you very much. If your parents can’t agree, they might go to court and ask a judge to decide.

The judge would consider your parents’ views. People may ask you some questions. For example, your parents might be asked how they would make sure you still got to see the parent who would be staying behind. They may ask how often would you and that parent would be able to see each other if you moved away. You might be asked what you think your life would be like in the new place compared to your life now.

After hearing all about the situation, the judge will come up with a plan that they think is best for you.

Remember...

You won't be able to decide for yourself whether to move. But you may have a chance to talk with someone and say what you think about it.

What did the math book say to the other math book?

Answer: I've got problems.